jokes


mens mind and their logic

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At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys’ side of the story.
(
I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear
the rules
From the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered “1″
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ’s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, You probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  < I>other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have  no idea what mauve is .

1. If it itches, it  will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation,
or
 BASKETBALL.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

http://www.j-lou.com/section/0/fashion-jeans/womens-jeans 

free personality test

www.j-lou.com

Check this out!!

A free personality test, very scary on its accuracy for the little you have to do for it.

http://www.colorquiz.com/

Try it for yourselves and let us know what you think.

Women’s Fitness

http://technorati.com/claim/my2sindmf” rel=”me”>Technorati Profile

Happy Valentines day to you all

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We thought we would share some rememberable images with you on the most amorous occasion.

Your a Babe!!

love valentines day romantic pictures

 You may feel a little prick

love pictures valentines day

See I do have a heart hunny x x

romantic photos valentines day

 Young Love AAAAHHHHH

puppy love romantic cute photos

Attracted too you

valentines pictures love photos

Love is………

 

busta blood vessal lip up fatty

 

http://www.j-lou.com/section/0/womens-dresses/clubwear

tescos shopping men

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Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping.

 

 This letter was recently sent by Tesco’s Head Office to a customer in Oxford 

Dear Mrs. Murray, 

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. 

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras 

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s trolleys when they weren’t looking. 

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle. 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, “Code 3″ in housewares….. and watched what happened. 

5. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area. 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. 

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?” 

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. 

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen> >knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were. 

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme. 

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the “Madonna look” using different size funnels. 

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!” 

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed “NO! NO! It’s those voices again.” 

And; last, but not least: 

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here.” Yours sincerely, 

Charles Brown 

Store Manager

http://www.j-lou.com/section/0/fashion-jumpers/new-womens-fashion

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