Womens Fashion By Joanne Louise

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Feed up with your office clothing being as boring as your daily paper work, then become your office’s next top model.

Belted Jackets and cinched waists have flocked onto our catwalks this season.

Accessories are the must have, cuff bangles and bracelets with jewels, gems and diamantes adding that touch of sparkle maybe a diamante tie to set your suit on fire.

Pinstripe trousers are always a safe office garment, adding chic and elegance to a crisp white blouse plus the stripe can help to make your legs look elongated.

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Sienna Miller shows us her hippie hippie shake, more like hippie hippie cough, might be too much stardust in the air

Orlando Bloom is being taken for a walk by the curse of the black lab, he looks worried, maybe there are no lamp posts nearby, he will just have to troy and hold on.

Orlando shows us if any one can cannon can, he just is not suppose to put him self through the copier, it could lead to love and other disasters.

Juliette Lewis shows her impression of a natural born killer as she parties from dusk till dawn, still at least this picture will be one for the lightfields home videos.

Gareth Gates sits back and relax’s while his mum drives him back from dancing on ice at least he is not going on up to the spirit in the sky.

Is Paris the Hottie or the Nottie in this picture, maybe the genetic opera has thrown her back to the house of wax, or you have had one too many, bottoms up.

Lord dont slow us down shouts the condemned smokin aces Liam Howlett and Gallagher we are the fast and the furious.

Janice Dickinson asks Im a celebrity can I get in here, wassup rockers, Im still charmed and kicking, even if I am not americas  next top model.

Has Davina walked in to a bit of a celebrity ding dong or showing us her pre and post natal workouts, as she runs away from a tiger behind her.

Womens Jeans

A Transgender man has claimed to be pregnant with a baby girl, according to news reports.

Thomas Beatie, who was born a woman, has reportedly said the experience so far had been “incredible” and that he is lucky to have such a supportive wife.

Living in Oregon the news was written for a US website, said that he decided to keep his female reproductive organs when he became transgender but he had a breast reduction and underwent testosterone therapy. His wife, Nancy had a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis, so the couple began to think about Mr Beatie carrying a child.

This meant Mr Beatie had to stop taking his testosterone injections but claims that his body regulated itself after just a few months.

He said: “I stopped taking my bimonthly testosterone injections. It had been roughly eight years since I had my last menstrual cycle, so this wasn’t a decision that I took lightly.

“My body regulated itself after about four months, and I didn’t have to take any exogenous estrogen, progesterone, or fertility drugs to aid his pregnancy.”

But a tv station that has been investigating the story has questioned the validity of Mr Beatie’s claims.

‘Discrimination’

Mr Beatie’s neighbour Ron Schlieper said: “Quite frankly, I think it’s a hoax.

“I saw him a few days ago and he didn’t look like that.”

Mr Beatie claims this is his second pregnancy - the first was apparently an ectopic pregnancy with triplets.

“It was a life-threatening event that required surgical intervention, resulting in the loss of all embryos and my right fallopian tube,” he said.

“When my brother found out about my loss, he said, ‘It’s a good thing that happened. Who knows what kind of monster it would have been’.”

Mr Beatie said he and his wife had felt discriminated against because of the pregnancy.

“Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs,” he said.

“Health care professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognise Nancy as my wife.

If you resprayed a car blue when it was originally red would you call it a red car or blue one? but then again if it was originally a 2 ltr, 3 series Bmw for example is it wrong to call it a 3 series bmw.

With this in mind the news title should have said ” girl turned man is now pregnant,” which really isn’t national news…

Is the world really that quiet for this to make first page news?

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Tom Cruise has a face of Tropic Thunder, but for a hardy men like him maybe he is still in character as the lions for the lamb, could be a dodgey cocktail prehaps.

Peter Doherty is in a bit of a shambles with his orange list, maybe he should opt for the crackers instead with a nice cup of char surley.

Kiefer Sutherland looks a bit of a lost boy by this tiny tee, maybe its not the right temptation to pick up the pieces to end all wars.

Poor Harry, he does not seem to have much sport relief in this picture, its ok though in the prince we trust.

Richard Hammond and James May don’t seem to be on top gear today, or are they trying out for dukes of hazzards, either was they dont seem to mind-er.

Courtney, Love 15 or deuce, which ever way you look at it, she seems to have tennis elbow unless she hit a rock bottom

What smashing pumpkins you have Britney, they are better than a snowglobe, lets hope they dont want a piece of you on your prom night.

Princess Beatrice shows the view of the face when the cat looked at the king from her mothers PJ’s storytime.

Ladies Coats

I was reading an Fashion article today about “6 essential items every girl should have in their wardrobe”.. the list included 1 little black , 1 pair of two-inch, neutral-coloured heels, 1 good bra, 1 winter coat, 1 practical bag and wait for it, yes it’s sunscreen.Now if only it was that easy for us girls, we have different moods and many places we want to visit, this is before we worry about the weather or the need for sunscreen.  starts with needing at least 2-3 dresses including that little black dress we can’t be seen in the same dress every time we go out can we!! That’s just not on… We also need different outfits and items to mix and match whether its a pair of jeans or trousers we need tops to go with it, but again this is different as we have day and night to dress for. We all have those fat days that we just want something comfortable to wear, especially at certain times of the month that’s just nature.As for shoes god knows what we would do if we could only have one pair do we choose sexy or comfy? High heels work perfectly for a night out to compliment our dress or outfit but are impractical when we are shopping yet those ugg boots everyone loves would look damn right silly with a long dress. As for a pair of 2 inch neutral -coloured heeled shoes this neither fits sexy or practical. So we need at least 2 pairs of shoes.A good bra should be in every girls wardrobe but what colour? strapless or supportive? lacy or plain, and matching knickers does help with keeping the man happy doesnt it !! I think we should have a range that suits what we wear, you can hardly wear a white bra with a little black dress and natural shoes can you, we can start visualising the author of the said article now….What’s next oh yes a  so when summer comes and the evenings get a little chilly on our nights out or we want to go shopping this July when its raining we must throw on a nice thick heavy winter coat. No need for a ladies jacket then?We all need a practical bag as the article rightly says but if you are anything like me you will need one for your kitchen sink as my chap often refers to it, but this is great for when i’m out all day, can you imagine taking it out in your black dress, neutral 2″ heels, white bra and winter coat? surly something dressy would be required.Lastly sunscreen …. ??? I much prefer perfume on my nights out…   So the moral of this story is….. I really want to know what type of person writes an article about 6 essential items a woman must have… can You identify with her in this description below…Very white lady in a , No kickers, with good fitting bra, Big Bag with 2″ neutral shoes, Wears a Big thick winter coat to hide what she wears, Sweats a lot in warm weather and smells of sunscreen lotion.